The City Council would like to remind you that there are in fact bees in your body. DO NOT ANGER THEM. [[Indie Night Vale ask / fanblog. All my tags are OOC.]] ...Also this blog is definitely not spoiler free.
Okay, how about we change it to more menacing looking wheat?
We gave the it angry eyebrows and an evil mustache.
Oddly enough, yes. We have received many letters all sloppily written with the return address of Gravity Falls. The boy who sends them is named Dipper, but that’s not his real name.
The post office refuses to put the letters into our inbox. They send them straight to the Vague but Menacing Government Agency. They would never say why. Whenever we mention it they just slowly turn their heads 360 degrees and zip their lips.
It’s probably no big deal.
Just a bootleg brand of wheat and wheat byproducts. Lower quality. Not quite as deadly. By that we mean that you will have roughly 8 minutes of pain instead of the usual 3.
We are indifferent towards it, although apparently it hurts to get your stomach lining torn to shreds. Who knew.
Those rumors may or may not be true. We are not allowed to comment on convicted felons. [they look around warily and whisper] But between you and me, they TOTALLY did.